I went into the neighborhood novelty store that had opened a few days ago.
“Can I help you?”
“I’m looking for some novelties. Nothing specific.”
“I’ll be glad to show you some of our novelties. Are you more interested in classic or the latest novelties? We have new and used.”
“Only the most novel novelties, please. Used only if they are in perfect shape – no smells, no tears, no signs of wear.”
He proceeded to proudly display an array of bang flag pistols, water-shooting lighters, scantily clad women on 3D postcards and in pens that turned unclad at different viewing angles, as well as other collectibles, esoterica, executive toys and gadgets*.
Sooner or later I had to break his enthusiasm, as much as I hated to do it.
“Actually,” I said, “I’m looking for the other kind of novelty.”
“The other kind?”
“Yes. Printed, you know?”
“Yes, full-length, or even noveltellas.”
His jaw and the temperature in the store dropped about 20 degrees as he started to put away his merchandise again.
“Fraid I can’t help you there. We’re not that kind of novelty store.”
– Clara Boothe
Intended as a tongue-in-check** take on the “novelty” prompt at Totally Optional Prompts. Does it work or is it too pedestrian / far-fetched / implausible? Don’t know.
*These are only some types of novelties according to Wikipedia.
**Originally a typo, but I decided to leave it. Nothing wrong with a tongue in check.